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Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
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-- Ogden Nash
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
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-- Joseph Heller, Catch-22
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Now that you've read Fortune's diet truths, you'll be prepared the next
time some housewife or boutique-owner-turned-diet-expert appears on TV
to plug her latest book. And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
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(1) Do I dare trust a person who actually considers alfalfa sprouts a
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(2) Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
exploiting the forlorn hopes of chubby people like me?
(3) Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as
prescribed ... without French-fried onion rings, pizza with
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That, and another piece of coffee cake, should do the trick.
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Everyone is a genius. It's just that some people are too stupid to
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The modern child will answer you back before you've said anything.
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Philosophy will clip an angel's wings.
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Swipple's Rule of Order:
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Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
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At any given moment, an arrow must be either where it is or where it is
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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
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Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible
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Corollary:
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Coronation, n.:
The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and
visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite
bomb.
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He did decide, though, that with more time and a great deal of mental
effort, he could probably turn the activity into an acceptable
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Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group
decide that nothing can be done.
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Lunatic Asylum, n.:
The place where optimism most flourishes.
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Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001,
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Everyone talks about apathy, but no one ____does anything about it.
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Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well
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A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well
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You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
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If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few
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Positive, adj.:
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GOV. BUSH: I TALKED TO MY LITTLE BROTHER, JEB...I HAVEN'T TOLD THIS TO MANY PEOPLE. BUT HE'S THE GOVERNOR OF...I SHOULDN'T CALL HIM MY LITTLE BROTHER...MY BROTHER, JEB, THE GREAT GOVERNOR OF TEXAS. JIM LEHRER: FLORIDA. GOV. BUSH: FLORIDA. THE STATE OF THE FLORIDA.
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All flesh is grass
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I have two very rare photographs: one is a picture of Houdini locking
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The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the
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I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
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Bizarreness is the essence of the exotic
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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
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The only problem with being a man of leisure is that you can never stop
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In those days he was wiser than he is now -- he used to frequently take
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There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their
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Web logging, or blogging, looks to be the fastest-growing hobby on the Internet. The way I see it, there are two kinds of blogs. Faux blogs can be set up by authors promoting books or newsletters, or they can be periodicals posing as blogs to get
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